Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
