'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
