Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
