You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
