I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
