I must be too annoying 4 u.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
