it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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