But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize