Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize