At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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