how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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