Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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