Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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