I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
