Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
40s are totally the cure
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize