A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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