Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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