508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
