Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
