a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
