somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
As shirtless as possible
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
