Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
