dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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