So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
