Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
