bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize