I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
