is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
