So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
