fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
