a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
