It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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