She said her name was "party"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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