im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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