Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
