Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
