piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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