I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
