Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
