I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
