I didn't shave. On purpose
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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