think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
