I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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