She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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