this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
