Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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