He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
