when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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