Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
