toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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