Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
