Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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