how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
