Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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