Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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