..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
