her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
