didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
