Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize