My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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