Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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